I Will Never Forget (3/3)

Mar 27, 2019

I just wanted to clear some things up real quick. I've never been and never will be, a victim. I say that because it's not a part of my mindset and I don't want people to think that's how I see things.

The situation I was in was entirely my fault. I was stupid, and I deserved everything I got for ignoring my friends and family.

What I meant by "standing up for myself" was basically me going off one day, finally telling her I'd never marry her, ever, and how I couldn't stand her scammy dipshit parents, and that the thought of being stuck between them and her for the rest of my life sounded like a fucking nightmare. I told her I didn't believe her bullshit and that I'm tired of her parents trying to tell me how to deal with her mental issues and that if they didn't fuck her up to begin with.. everything. It was bad.

I had a few people send me texts saying how unlike me it was to let someone beat on me, and then I realized it was because of the way I worded it (writing in fragments), and.. I don't want anyone to think that's what I was going for. When she'd throw punches I'd sometimes grab her fist and throw her fat ass to the floor and lock myself in the studio, so.. yeah.

What I meant by abuse was more mental than anything. I've never experienced such relentless mental torture in my entire life. I have never been so close to letting loose on a female before. Honestly, now, after hearing about all the shit she pulled.. I really wish I would have.

She was taking my entire life away. My friends didn't want to hangout any more, all my stuff was getting destroyed, and I was literally losing my mind.

Looking back, it's still crazy to think that it was all just the beginning.

Anyway, I hope that clears things up.

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