Today, 5 years ago, I almost lost my life for standing up for myself. For saying "no" to a marriage I knew would only be more of the same paranoid accusations and tribal pettiness, times 10. For getting caught "cheating", which, in reality were meetings with a private investigator who just happened to be a female that specializes in sociopaths who poison their spouses.

For awhile it was thought I suffered permanent kidney and liver damage, leading to rapid weight loss, seizures, and strokes. I've recovered almost fully. Even the sagging in my face. No one can tell but me now, I think.

Guys, listen.. if you're in an abusive relationship with someone who relies on heavy medications just to seem "normal", believe me.. you cannot fix them. I ignored this advice and paid the price, many times over. It will only, and CAN only, get worse.

Taking the abuse isn't manly. It only shows them that there's no consequence to the pain they cause. It does not show strength, they will never respect you, and in fact after everything.. they will point the finger at YOU. It's a losing battle at every front. Get out of it ASAP.

And to those of you reading this right now who ask, ignorantly, when I'll "get over it".. the answer is never.

Every time there's a knock at the door, a truck banging around outside, my heart drops. I feel myself on the bathroom floor, 2 in the morning, covered in puke and laying in my own shit, dying, while she listened to it all quietly, just waiting.. for it to stop.

I thank the universe every day, but.. I'll never forget. I will never stop seeking justice for all the things that have been done to me, by all of the people who have done them to me.

I will never forget.